As of January 2015 there were more than 564,708 people reported homeless on any given night in the United States. What this means is that there are thousands upon thousands of people sleeping on city streets, in subways, on park benches and anywhere else where they can lay their hat for a night.
There are a few things in this life that make me really sad. One of them is seeing people without a home, without the surety of a meal, without a network of friends and family to lift them up and surround them with love.
Accepting those who need assistance
Before I get too far into this, I can hear some of you saying, “But many homeless people are without a home because of bad choices they have made. They are drug addicts and alcoholics who keep making mistakes.”
Yes, there are drug addicts and alcoholics on the streets. But there are also women with children, veterans, elderly and others who by no fault of their own have found themselves without a place to lay their heads. And even those who struggle with addiction need our love.
Unequal wealth
While the rest of us enjoy the warmth of a fire and the comfort of clean sheets and a meal, others are not even sure where their next meal will come from or where they will spend the night. This breaks my heart. We are living in the wealthiest and most unequal country in the world. With a personal wealth of over $153.2 trillion, no one should be homeless or hungry in this country.
Homeless by choice
But, what about those who make a choice to live a life wandering from town to town, not settling down and getting a job to provide for their needs? I classify these people as hard to understand and difficult.
There are many difficult people in this world, we meet them each day, but it is when we come in contact with these people that we are called to rise to a higher level of love, to set aside our judgment. Personally, my dealings with difficult people always prove to be a growing experience. I come out of the other side a better steward of all God has given me, including my ability to be accepting.
Inviting a homeless couple to our Thanksgiving meal
This Thanksgiving was especially memorable for my family. My recently married daughter and her husband decided to host our dinner this year. We had a table of 13, comprised of family, close friends and a homeless couple that showed up in our little town a week or so ago.
We first saw the young couple outside a local store where they were sitting on the cold concrete on a tarp with their puppy in 20-degree weather. As the days progressed, it was evident that this couple was staying in town a while. My daughter ran into them when walking the dog one cold night. When she returned, she asked me if we could go find them to offer them some soup. Once we found them, we talked a bit and I got pieces of their story. When we parted, we left them with an invitation to come have Thanksgiving dinner with us.
Meeting James and Audrey
We picked up James and Audrey along with their tiny puppy the next day for dinner. It was a strangely comfortable ride, sharing pleasantries and getting to know this interesting couple. Once we arrived at my daughter’s home, we were greeted with the aroma of turkey and all its fixings along with the sweet scent of fellowship. We were met by four rambunctious dogs who were equally ready to welcome the new puppy to the fold.
As the evening progressed, our conversation became richer and also more challenging. We went back in time with the homeless couple to the point at which they both became perpetual wanderers. They had each struggled with rough childhoods and found themselves on the streets at an early age. Now in their 20s and 30s, it was clear that opportunities for them to settle had been presented. However, they were clearly making a choice to live their life a particular way.
They were choosing not to earn a living like most of us do, choosing to trust that strangers would provide for their needs at each stop on their journey and choosing not to settle and become a part of a community. This is what was so difficult for me to understand. I work hard to provide for my family. Not only do I take great comfort in being part of a community but also in giving back to this community in any way that I can.
Here were two able-bodied, young people who could get a job, work hard, earn a living and give back… but they were not doing that. They were, in fact, homeless by choice.
Practicing non-judgment
Having this couple over for dinner gave me a chance to practice the art of non-judgement, the art of loving in any circumstance and the art of celebrating the uniqueness in all of us.
Although I don’t agree with their lifestyle choice, that did not present a barricade. We found common ground in animals, music, books, religion and more. Our conversation was both engaging and enlightening for everyone.
Today, the couple packs up and heads out for another life experience. We will miss seeing them in our little town but I am grateful for the chance to share in their journey! It was not so much about providing for this young couple’s needs, it was more about just sharing conversation with strangers who, by the end of the night, were not strangers anymore. Drawing outside of our comfort lines for just a little bit is a refreshing and character-building experience.
Remember, we can all make an impact in the lives of others — it just takes a spirit of love and acceptance and the blessing becomes all yours!
Tell us about your experiences with homeless people. How do you feel about having them over for dinner? Would you do the same? Let us know!
— Susan Patterson
As generous and perhaps compassionate as your gesture was, your young homeless couple was hardly representative of the typical homeless person. Your article came across more as a chance encounter with an eccentric young couple you met while traveling. Completely misses the point and the hopelessness of the homeless.
I agree with mvalley. it would have been more interesting if you/your family, offered them a way to contribute to themselves and the community, a road to productive living, and they took that chance. If they prefer to be street bums, good luck to them. I don’t want them at my table.
Okay so I’m judging their commitment to being takers and not givers. And I’m not certain I agree with supporting people who believe that receiving is the only thing they need to do- I’m not sure it’s healthy for anyone. It’d be one thing if it were for a summer, to learn from the experience, to write about it etc. But James and Audrey are committed in the long term, and while Susan did not know that to begin with because she was indeed open armed and open minded, are we as a community of people with homes actually helping James and Audrey when we do not ask them to contribute to anyone or anything?
Thank you so much for your comment. Yes, this was a chance encounter, but it many ways they were in need. Perhaps not in the same sort of perpetual helplessness that some homeless people live; nonetheless, there was an opportunity to share and grow for all involved. This article was in no way meant to diminish the true struggle and desperate need of the homeless in our country. Rather it was meant to explore the idea that we all need to step outside our comfort level at times and put aside judgement.
Forgive me for stating the obvious, but that puppy didn’t make any choices, and it’s abusive to subject that poor thing to the bitter cold. I applaud the writer for her passionate overture to them, but I tend to agree with Bets…they have chosen to live on the kindness of others, with no thought to them “giving back”. They live their young lives taking, when they have the ability to work and live in a community like most people do. May God Bless them until they one day see there is a better way to live.
“As much as ye have done this to the least of my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”-Jesus
Make no mistake, Susan, God is watching and He is applauding. Take a bow, dear sister. It’s not about the life-style choices of others, but about our willingness to give of ourselves to others and trust that God will use the seeds we plant to bear much fruit. May you have a bountiful harvest! Bless you!
Thank you Claudia. My prayer is that many seeds were planted.
Remember… wage equality also equates to quality of effort. Some chose and are ok with their decisions.
I’m not sure what to make of this encounter. I’ve brought meals and cat and dog food to people living outside. Like many of us, the only comfort they have are their animals. I hope your showing James and Audrey compassion gets them thinking to do the same someday – use their experience to learn.
Next Thanksgiving you should volunteer at a homeless shelter, serving dinner. That’s an eye-opener.
I have to say I applaud you for that decision to feed this homeless couple in your home in this day and age when you can’t be too careful, it took some real faith to open your home to some, misfits. It is easy to judge someone like this for their decisions and their choice of lifestyle, It is easy to criticize these people and say what they should do but like has been said before, till we walk a mile in their shoes we should not Judge, after all The Savior of all of us, how much different would He have been if He were here today?
If I met someone homeless that needed and wanted to learn to fish (take care of themselves), I’d be happy to do so; I have an abundance of knowledge and skills to share. The things I don’t have to share is time and money because the government takes so much from me by force to give to everyone else, including themselves, that I do not have enough to properly take care of myself or my wife…
Remember, If you can not take care of yourself, you have not the means to take care of others, much less…being forced to.
Our country was founded upon the principle of the person, the family and the community all come first before any abundance is shared beyond that.
There will always be inequality of one sort or another and as you’ve seen…most is by choice.
I was homeless from 1978-1992. I lived in a 1971 Chevyvan, while working full time, and attending
Cal-State Northridge. I did this because I couldn’t afford to pay
for an apartment, at the same as
paying tuition, books, fees, etc.
I did the 3 S’s in the gym. It was difficult to deal with LAPD, because
it is illegal to live in your vehicle
on city streets. I worked out a deal
with the owners of a gas station such that I could park on their property overnight. As part of the
deal, I had to leave by 6AM, when
they opened up. I parked across the
work bays to make sure no one could steal cars left overnight.
I was harassed constantly by LAPD,
even though I was on private property.
My first Bachelor’s degree was in
Environmental Biology. Two weeks
before I graduated, in 1984, Reagan froze hiring by both the Dept. of Agriculture, and the Dept. of Interior.
No job.
I returned to CSUN, and received a
2nd Bachelors degree, in 1986. This one was in Medical Technology, (while continuing to live on the street).
In 1992 I was able to come in off the
street, and live, once again, like a
human being.
For a total of 32yrs, I worked for the
VA, in the clinical laboratory at VA Sepulveda in the SF Valley, and VA West Los Angles on the other side of
“the hill”; the hill with the Hollywood
sign on it.
My only interest was in helping to save the lives of as many of my fellow veterans as possible.
Sure, I had to live on the street in
order to get the necessary credentials, but what a wonderful payoff/payback I received in return.
Not all homeless are the bums you
may consider them to be. For some, like myself, it’s just something you’re
forced to do in order to get to where
you want to be.
Always remember: Quitters NEVER
win because they gave up on their hopes and dreams. Winners NEVER quit because God, their hopes, and their dreams keep them going until that day when they win.
I will never know for sure, but I’d be willing to bet that there must have been a pit bull in my lineage somewhere way back when.
While it is always a blessing to help others in need, we don’t live in a pretty world….and sometimes our kindness is mistaken for weakness (or worse). Many homeless people are addicted to drugs or mentally ill and are capable of causing harm. I have fed many hungry people and helped many in need. God has been good to me. I have not had too many negative experiences. But, when inviting a stranger into your home to spend time with your family, please be careful!
Hi i was in Bedford in the UK last week, a homeless man approached me asking for money for food. I did not give him any but whilst shopping i bought him a large sandwich. When i came out of the shop and offered it to him he said i dont want that i want the money i hate sandwiches and will give it to the dog i said give it to the F&%%$ing dog then. Was i wrong or should i have given him money?
God bless you, Jimbo. Thanks for never giving up.
Susan Patterson, you have a “GOOD HEART” and GOD knows that…May you and your family be “BLESSED” in all that you do…And a MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!
“AMEN” Claudia Wilhite AMEN…You are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT.
Now…that’s the “WORD”
Susan Patterson, you have a “GOOD HEART” and GOD knows that…May you and your family be “BLESSED” in all that you do…And a MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!
Thank you and a very Merry Christmas to you and yours.
To invite someone homeless off the street to your Thanksgiving dinner shows you have a lot of compassion for others in need. But be careful you never know where that person is coming from. I myself have only invited single and elderly neighbors with no close family nearby to my thanksgiving dinners over the years. Through that experience I believe it inspired me to help start up a food pantry in the next town over, I’ve work with a great group of dedicated indiividuals its been six years and we are serving four towns, eighty families with more than two hundred family members with a good number of children. I am proud to be a Food Pantry Director to me it just don’.t get any better. Try It you’ll like it.
I have given lots of food and petfood to homeless people, and most accept gratefully. You did the right thing – if you had doubts, it’s OK not to give money that might be used for drink or drugs, You cared, and did something.
At least the pup had a good dinner 🙂 That’s a good thing, too.
Pittbull for sure, Jimbo! I wish more people had your guts.
Too many people I’ve given food to were veterans. Made me cry more than a few times, but never in front of the person. I’ve never had a lot, but I can always spare a few dollars for some type of meal.
It is fair to say that Thomas Jefferson was right in 1800, when he predicted that wealth is siphoned out of our society, and this will lead to most of us (except some sellouts) becoming homeless. His statement ended with “… and they will end up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered.” Go read it!
I did the same when, and if, I was in a position to do so. I used to buy Campbell’s chunky soups by the case (one at a time). That way I could provide for myself, and give at least one nutritious meal to someone I considered to be less well off than myself when that occasion arose. It only happened once in a while. I was dumbfounded once, when an alcoholic turned down my offer of a can of soup; saying that it wouldn’t do him any good, and that what he really needed was something with alcohol in it. I prayed for him as I walked away. Hope the prayer was heard.
Chunky Soups is an excellent item to carry in my “trunk of stuff”. I have lots of emergency things, just in case. Prayers are always heard. Never stop.
And I could always tell who really needed help by what they chose to accept.
You did right.
We bought socks, toothbrushes, and hair brushes for the Homeless in our Town. Took them to the Local Shelters. My 7 year old Grandson always tells me how nice it is that I give those poor people money to eat. We gave lots of donations, played anonymous Mr. & Mrs. Santa and gave children unknown to us gifts. It is very fulfilling. And Yes, I would have them over for Dinner too! We chose the most needy we know and gave our struggling friends $100.00…..
Have had the same thing happen! I used to carry cases of fruits, avocados, and delicious citrus. Would hand them to the ones with “I will work for food” signs, only to have the food thrown at my Van. I now just give to Vets, and Homeless Older Women. Never catch hell from them!